Hey my pretty readers… Valentine’s weekend is over and we are back to work..
Many people celebrated with their loved ones or those who haven’t found their partners yet are looking forward to finding one for the next Valentine’s 😉
We celebrate this day to appreciate our loved ones and tell them how much they mean to us and make special plans to celebrate this love.
Now this just got me thinking. The amount of time and thinking that we put in to understand our partners and their needs and the efforts we put in to improve our relationships, do we show such commitment towards the relationship that we have with ourselves??
You will say I am just one person so how to have a relationship with yourself when you yourself are the thinker and also the doer.
Here’s the thing. Even if you are married or in a relationship or ready to enter a relationship or searching for that perfect partner, it is very much important that you first establish a healthy relationship with yourself.
You need to love yourself in order to be happy. Let me just break that bubble… You cannot expect someone else or something else to be there in order to make you happy. If you don’t love yourself then how do you expect someone else to love you unconditionally?
We are our own best friend and to love and appreciate yourself is the biggest gift you can give yourself. So without any further ado, let me state some points to improve your self relationship.
1. Start to accept yourself.
Now you will say we are the way we are so that means we accept ourselves. But trust me that is so untrue. I have been there. We don’t like our complexion or our hair type or our bodytypes.
To some extent we do it every single day. But deep down we are hurting ourselves. We all have insecurities. We try so many ways to hide our imperfections and things that we are conscious about. But here’s the fact that everyone is insecure about something. You cannot expect thinking oh I will be happy when I reduce my weight or if I get this much money. Money, body, material things, family, everything has its own place but you will never achieve true Happiness until you accept the basic common thing in between these things… YOU…
You can always strive to better your body or gain money but first you must accept that this is just a part of you and not the complete you. Even if you are poor or have imperfect body appreciate the things you have and then try to improve.
2. Talk positively to yourself.
We all feel hurt and sad when someone says hurtful things to us. But do we ever stop and think the way we talk to ourselves??
Just from the start of the day you look in the mirror thinking oh I wish I was smarter, ugh my hair look pathetic, who am I fooling I look ugly and so on…
Or just those thoughts throughout the day… Oh I am stupid I can’t do anything right, I deserve to be lonely I can’t talk to anyone properly and the list just goes on.
Just for once try to be mindful and think of these thoughts as words of some person who calls us their friend and then talks to us like that. We will hate that person coz we do not want someone constantly reminding us how imperfect we are. So why do we keep talking to ourselves like this? We do not need these negative thoughts.
Start thinking positive and chuck those negative feelings away like a foe pretending to be a friend.
3. Enjoy your own company.
Once you start accepting yourself the way you are and start thinking positively, you will realize that you will feel less and less lonely and will enjoy your own company. You will never feel scared or the need of someone to be with you constantly.
Start going shopping alone or sit in a cafe read a book or just stroll around town on your own. You will understand how liberating that is. That is when you will truly start talking to yourself and understand you own feelings and thoughts.
People these days constantly need someone or something to distract them so they do not know themselves the way they should.
4. Stop comparing yourselves with others.
The most common thoughts we have are those of jealousy.
You wish you had the looks or height like someone else or you wish you had as much money as the other person or you compare yourselves with them thinking their life is easier than yours.
First of all there is no person on this planet that is 100% happy and are content with life. Even the super rich or the most beautiful people seek something or the other to become happy. Ofcourse someone’s life could be easier than those struggling to make ends meet but just keep in mind that everyone’s journey is different and their pursuits of happiness are different.
So instead of thinking about someone’s life, we must think of improving ours. Coz the best competition you can have is with yourselves to better your life.
5. Respect yourself.
The most important thing to be happy is to respect yourself. The more you lose respect for yourself the more unhappy you are.
So never ever give in to situations where you have to compromise your self respect for something else. If you do not respect yourself then it is very difficult to receive it from someone else.
People can perceive the way you treat yourself and will treat you the same way.
You are God’s beautiful creation. You are an individual with independent thoughts and likes and ways. Do strive to give love to others but do not lose your own path and your own light in the process.
Always speak up and stand against injustice to you and others.
Once you reach that awesome level of self love, you will realize that you have so much to offer and you will have the best relationships and you will be a better human…
P. S. I am not perfect and neither I ever wanna be, Happy with the imperfect me……